Please dont turn

” Please don’t turn there Dad, keep going straight ahead” Jazz said for the umpteenth time from the back seat. It is 745 am and am dropping her to school.

There is a turning off James Gichuru road that I use as a short-cut to her school that avoids the jam and cuts the journey by at least 15 minutes.

I don’t always drop her to school choosing to drop her sister who goes to school much earlier. However, each time I drop her, She will tell me to either “drive straight on” or “please don’t turn”. I have always ignored these statements assuming its the usual backseat chatter that kids tend to have in the morning.

This morning, I decided to drive straight on and use the long way round. She was ecstatic and I asked her why she wants me to follow this route. I was expecting an answer like coz she likes the road or she will get to school later but not ” When you turn there, I get to school too quickly and that way I don’t spend a few more minutes with you” I have paraphrased her coz she used more words than that but those words made me realize that I am failing in work/family balance.

I wonder how many of you feel that you don’t spend enough time with your loved ones. We are always chasing career dreams and ‘ one more deal’ and hope that soon you will be able to give the family finer things and spend more time with them.

I am sure am not alone who feels that if I can, I would spend more time with my family but there is that meeting or that deal that needs closing and after all am doing it for them.

I am grasping on how to maintain a perfect balance and dropping some of my social commitments is one way. The problem will be how to tell when the balance is achieved.

I think this is one of the biggest challenge for business people and my situation is exacerbated by being single. I think deep down I have always known that my balance is tipped badly towards work coz one of the major complaint I have from people I have dated including my ex-wife was that I work too hard ( don’t think so) and they have to play second fiddle to business.

I am sure I will get the balance somehow by taking smaller steps like not turning off James Gichuru road and driving straight on.

Excited!

Its been a while since I posted but it seems that my entire blogroll is also having some block of some kind. I guess people are busy and bogged down by inflation.

I have been to court 5 times in last two weeks on the adoption matter but it has turned out well. The adoption process is on course and am really excited! The problem we had in April was the guardian ad litem or what they call the friend of the court who will be responsible for the child’s welfare until the process was completed. We eventually found a distant relative of the boy who has agreed to act and the court has approved that.

Secondly, the welfare office sent a new social worker on my request whose report was better than the first one and they finally gave a no objection letter but we will be subject to continuous evaluation for two years. The first Social worker was totally inept. She had interviewed kids without an adult present and visited my neighbours who have only recently moved in. She had also alluded to my frequent traveling being a problem.

The best part is that the child can start living with us as from September this year whilst the process is being finalized. This means I can insure the child and be registered as a guardian for schooling purposes. This is a major step for us because we are able to assimilate him into the family much earlier although he will not carry my name legally for about two years. Turns out the court did not have a problem with my being single as my lawyers thought would happen.

My kids are happy about it although the jury is still out on how he will cope with the various changes. We have involved a child psychologist to counsel them and am happy with the progress this far.

At the end of this, i think I can write a guideline on adoption in Kenya and especially what pitfalls one should look out for.

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Am following up this case as I know Jon Wagner pretty well. I know him socially and have done some business with him and I am surprised at the accusations. However, it is not really possible to know what a person does in the confines of their bedroom but anyhow I hope he is not guilty. I would not appear as a character witness for him because our relationship is business but am a believer in innocent till proven guilty

There a lot of rumours about his staff and am not one to care about rumours because let us face it, when one is at the top, there will always rumours. I don’t know any successful businessman that is not accused of this that and the other.

I was very disappointed to hear some people yesterday saying that we should boycott eating at Java because we are contributing to pedophilia. What happened to the law of natural justice that requires a persons day in court and proof without reasonable doubt?

Substance abuse

What drives someone to lose self esteem and confidence to the point that the only time they can reason with themselves is when they are high on either alcohol or drugs?

I have tried reading extensively on this subject and it leaves me more confused. I am trying to follow through on the theory that alcoholism is a disease and there is a genetic link to the disease.

I have never( even in my college days) taken drugs or even experimented with smoking bhang and therefore may never understand the high people talk about. I have drunk and been drunk on alcohol but never experienced the term ‘black out’ and never had to blame any action on alcohol or regretted something I did under alcohol influence.

In this respect, I find it hard that people around me expect me to be more patient with people who cannot control their need to reach out for drugs or alcohol to deal with reality. I am dealing with a close family member who feels that they do not need rehab or to join AA when everyone around them has deserted them and are totally unable to deal with them.

Then I find a close friend at work is unable to deal with family issues and has resorted to abusing alcohol and may lose his job soon as he is slacking off.

I took him for lunch today and laid down the facts to him and he admitted that he knows he has a problem but not serious. The thing is, he reckons he can stop if he wants to. I have encouraged him to take up hobbies etc but his friends all seem to go for a drink after work and are coping. I informed him that I don’t drink during the week and are able to handle the pressures of life without resorting to alcohol and just giving him the heads up that the boss is likely to fire him.

Sitting here thinking about both parties, I get despondent knowing that I cannot force my will on them and that they are on the road to destruction.

As you can tell from this post, am being quite cagey about the matter but it is a matter that irks me .

Social Calendar: Whats a man to do?

Having just come back, I find my social calendar too full and daunting.

Friday: Need to make a decision on the premier of Incredible hulk@ the Junction( Coke sponsored), Semis of Idols(Coke sponsored) and happening at the same time. I wonder why they invited me for both? I prefer to have a quite dinner with my kids but Coke is a client. My boys want to have a drink since I have not seen them in over a month! What to do?

Saturday: All blacks play England, Australia play Ireland , South Africa play Wales. In the meantime, Chaguo la teenies( Coke sponsored again)…before you ask why i would attend such an event, am in that industry and I have a teenager( well almost- her 13th birthday next month and she wants to go!), Heartstrings have a play at Alliance Francaise(I have tickets), KCB plays Quins at Ruaraka, Project Fame eviction show( again in the industry and my date must be there!) and I still haven’t seen my Mother and she is complaining. Jazzes best friend is celebrating her birthday. What to do?

Sunday: Prefer to sleep BUT my investment club is meeting, My mums church have an annual event that she demands the whole family attends, Project fame probation show and I still have not checked homework!  What to do?
I am supposed to be resting as I resume work next week!

Am Back!

Whats on tour remains on tour!

That is my disclaimer…so dont ask what happened in Europe. I already posted part of it.

I come back home to still find runaway inflation- you chaps still have not caught it! Month to month inflation changes from 28 in April to 31.5% in May- the underlying inflation concerns me as a consumer. It is also quite difficult for me to revise my fees to clients upwards at the moment as I have no idea when this will stabilize.

I also find that my decision not to apply for Safaricom Shares at the IPO was a good gamble. I have been able to pick them up at 6.95 per share on the secondary market and I don’t have to wait for any refunds cheques. They are still discounted and woe to the speculator who expected to make money quickly on the start of trading. This will be the long haul people. I will pop quickly into Bankeleles spot and see what he has to say.

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Safari Sevens is on from next week and am looking forward to it. In my social calendar, this is way up there together with xmas and ahem, I realise there are not many social events I look forward to.

Lets hope the Coach selects a side worth challenging Fiji and France who I understand are coming for this years event.

In the meantime has someone spotted 3OTC, I understand she is around here somewhere…

Once shy, twice beaten

After almost four decades in this world I now confirm am a prude and being one is apparently not a good thing.  What I am I talking about you ask?

Last week, I was in the most northerly part of the world I have ever been. Up there almost near Iceland if you remember your geography. I had to meet people some of whom I last saw almost 20 years ago. The last time I was there, I was a wee laddie and hmmm I think that lets the cat out of the bag.   It was a reunion and people do change..( I will post the reunion story later).

 

 You recall the almost hitched ex who was offering a no-strings-attached romp? Yap, that is where She lives. Her and her friends party like they are still in Uni.  They behave like they have never heard of HIV and I cant remember the last time I saw whitelines going up peoples noses this fast.

Anyway, back to the point of my post. I happen to be the only black dude in that party and that in itself is a magnet. By the end of the night, my ex who was now totally plastered asked me if I had considered her offer and if I was ready to give up on my self-imposed celibacy.  I told her my celibacy stays and further, I wondered why she would willing to cheat on her boyfriend. ‘Oh- he knows’ She said ‘ it was his idea in the first place’ she added nonchalantly. My jaw was on the floor! 

Turns out that She had been telling a friend of hers about me for 15 years and the friend always wanted to try a black dude and so planned a manage-a- trois featuring yours truly. The friend wanted multiple explorations of myriad orifices by a black member if you know what I mean….AAaannd what role does the boyfriend play you ask… well he is the composite voyeur and wanted to watch.   I hope you remember that this dude apparently does not want to have sex till they get married but does not mind watching his fiancee in a three way- weird  cannot top this!!

 I told them no and didnt thank them for the offer. Infact, I did express displeasure for the consideration the next day when they were all sober. I wished them luck in their up-coming wedding and left. I had to fly southwards to watch rugby.

There you are… am officially Mr. prude.

What a weekend: of handshakes and hugs

If it is possible for a worse weekend to be had, I want to hear it.

Kenya 15s lose to Uganda, Kenya 7s lose all their matches save for one against Moldova( where the hell is Moldova?), Impala loses to Nakuru, Sharks lose to Warratahs,Hurricanes lose to Crusaders. …Aaand I have this raging hangover!!  That captures my weekend pretty much.

BUT…positive news..I finally met Mocha  and 3OTC.    The latter was in a hurry rushing off for a wedding and hope to catch up later whilst the latter has been the best host(es?) ever…made my weekend. Turn out Mocha and I knew each other in a past life..story for another day. 30TC goes ahead to analyse my handshake and Mochas hug on her blog…. just wait for my hangover to clear.

Since when did summer change to winter? This European weather is crazy!

Am making plans to leave for Scotland and hoping for a better week..

 

 

 

Randomness: “The secret” and celibacy

Is it only me or does the rest of you feel the ‘The Secret‘ is over-hyped?  I grudgingly read the book and skimmed over the DVD but I still don’t get what the big issue is.  There is no secret about the power of positive thinking and so the writer did not unveil anything new..even if it is called the ‘law of attraction’  Maybe am a slow coz I just don’t get it. Do you?

It is amazing that am on this self enforced celibacy for two months now!……I tell you being on the BT is haaaaard( no pun intended).  I am bound to meet a friend who was once a lover later on this week and we have been exchanging these ’seditious’ text messages. She reckons that her boyfriend wants to wait till they are married before they have sex… and the dude is 35! ( Do such people still exist?)  Anyhow, she reckons that she is frustrated and would want a no-strings-attached romp when I visit this weekend. Whats a man to do?

I am I the only man who feels nothing for English Soccer? Those who sent me messages about their team winning a certain premiership wasted their airtime.. I was watching project Project fame with my kids.

There are so many things that I had planned to do once I started my leave but  I know that I have not even started and already ‘eaten’ into one week of my leave…but I have been to the gym, caught up with my reading and  slept a lot. I still plan to paint the garage, view of few properties( am shopping for a house) and have dinner with farmgal before I leave for Europe.

Super 14 Predictions: Draw complicates final round

Who could have thought a draw would complicate the scenario this way? Well it did. The Stormers and The Warratahs played out a draw on a wet rainy Saturday night at Newlands.

This brings focus on the last matches of Super 14 2008.  There are so many scenarios that could happen this coming weekend.  I have analyzed some of these here.

1.Hurricanes beat the Blues, Waratahs beat the Reds, Stormers beat the Lions, Sharks beat Chiefs– then Crusaders, Hurricanes, Waratahs and Sharks go through.( If Sharks get a bonus point)

2.Blues beat Hurricanes, Reds beat Waratahs, Stormers beat Lions, Sharks beat Chiefs — then it will be Crusaders, Stormers, Sharks and whichever of Waratahs, Hurricanes and Blues end up with best points differential.

3.Hurricanes beat the Blues, Waratahs beat the Reds, Stormers beat the Lions, Sharks lose to the Chiefs — then the semifinalists will be the Crusaders, Hurricanes, Waratahs and Stormers.

4.Hurricanes beat the Blues, Waratahs beat the Reds, Stormers lose to the Lions, Sharks beat the Chiefs — semifinalists will be Crusaders, Hurricanes, Waratahs and Sharks.

5. Hurricanes beat the Blues, Waratahs beat the Reds, Stormers beat the Lions with bonus point, Sharks beat the Chiefs with bonus point — then Crusaders, Hurricanes and Waratahs will advance, with the fourth team being determined by points differential

I am predicting this last Scenario and since am a Shark supporter, I hope they beat the Chiefs with more than 19 points and take the fourth position.

Whatever happens, this weekend will be great for rugby.

Locally, Impala humbled Quins to maintain their lead on the table and KCB beat Nakuru. However, the surprise results of Strathmore beating Mwamba and Mombasa beating Mean Machine brings a twist to the league.  It will be interesting how teams cope with the loss of national team players.

Super 14 Predictions: Semi finals heat is on

All matches this weekend save for one (Bulls vs Brumbies) have a bearing on which teams are likely to be in the Semis in two weeks time. Locally with Impala playing Kenya Harlequins means that my weekend is sorted! My phone will be off and am likely to be incoherent if you try and talk to me- hoping you can catch me in the first place.

Only the Crusaders are assured of a semi final position. Waratahs, Hurricanes , Chiefs and Stormers(Mathematically) can get a home semi finals. 8 team still have a chance to get through.

My prediction is ’saders, Canes, Sharks and ‘tahs with Stormers having an outside chance.

The following are my predictions

Hurricanes v Western Force- Prediction: Hurricanes by 5.

Bulls v Brumbies - Bulls by 10

Highlanders v Blues- Blues by 10

The Sharks v Cheetahs- ( Sharks by 25 plus)

Lions v Chiefs- Chiefs by 15(Bonus point)

Stormers v Waratahs- Stormers by 5

Reds v Crusaders- Crusaders by many

I hope that the Stormers beat the Waratahs to make the competition more interesting.

Locally: I suspect Nakuru will edge past KCB and Impala will overcome Quins in a tight game.