Custody: Destroy a soul in the name of love

Sometimes a child can be with a parent who will destroy them  just to show how much they love them.

Am writing this at 3 am coz I cant sleep. My children are not in my house- not because I choose it or they do but because of greed and stupid Kenyan laws.

 When my wife left me 4 years ago, she left me with two little girls( the youngest was one year old and the elder one was 6). She moved in with her mother and was soon seeing someone else. In the last 4 years, there have been little contact with the kids and I filed for judicial separation 3 years ago and for divorce a year later. I got the divorce decree last year on grounds of desertion and adultery. I have brought up my kids alone and they are now 5 and 11 years old. 

The judge who heard our case agreed to separate the issue of Divorce, property and custody of the kids. Although I have been divorced for a year now, the custody hearing is coming up now.  It was my intention to complete the entire process as soon as possible but Kenyan courts do not hasten such things.

My custody hearing is up this month and I got home this evening at 6 pm only to find that my ex-wife came home and took the kids with her. You can imagine how I felt when I was expecting my youngest to meet me at the door like she always does only to be met by her Nanny red-eyed and looking so dejected and her only words..” Hawako, Ame wachukua..kwanini baba *****? Kwanini ume muacha awachukue?” ( They are gone..why did you let her take them?).  Apparently, my house help and the Nanny tried to reach me the whole afternoon on the cell and in the office but I was at the club where they do not allow cell phones and my secretary could not reach me.

I have tried everything for the last 6 or so hours. I drove across town to my ex wife’s house and she could not allow me even to speak to them. I could hear my kids crying behind the door but she could not even allow me to say good night to them. 

Apparently, this morning, my lawyer served her with the custody hearing papers and this was her best reaction. Kenyan courts will most of the time grant custody to the Mother regardless of how inept she is. My ex has probably seen these kids for not more than 10 times since we separated. She has not even shown interest in their affairs apart birthdays and the ubiquitous telephone calls.

This evening, she had the audacity to tell me that She is the kids mother too and she wants an opportunity to show them she loves them too. I wondered where the love was 5  years ago when she left an infant and another in kindergarten. How can you demonstrate love these many years later?

She knows that with the evidence available of her ineptitude in her maternal duties, she is unlikely to get them. Her lawyer informs me to meet him tomorrow morning to write up an agreement for his submission to court. It is all driven by greed as she wants financial support and for me to give up my matrimonial home to her. The irony is- am willing to give her anything she wants as long as I get to live with my children but she does not know that.

Thank God, the kids are on holiday for I fear how she would have handled a school day, with getting them ready and dropping them,. We have such a routine each day and we work have worked at it so long. The youngest girl usually falls asleep in my arms or on the couch next to me then I take her to bed. It is such little things like this that she does not even understand. My pain was worst when I could heard them cry behind the door seeking to leave with me.

I have worked hard over the years in a single parent environment to provide for and make these kids happy..it is painful to see them go through this albeit for a night. Being held at ransom only so that I can sign off a financial settlement is so painful. What is money and property in the face of your flesh and blood?

The older one managed to sneak and call me an hour ago when the Mother was asleep and she was crying asking me why this was happening. She kept telling me to go for them. I do not want to cause a scene but the girls are sure to remember this night.

I will get them back tomorrow but the message is clear… and really painful.