Valentines day: Whats the fuss?
February 15, 2008 by Seasons
I bought the flowers and chocolates. I took her out for dinner and it probably was a very romantic day- for her.
All the time this was going on, I was thinking that I maybe stuck in a ritual that I have no control over. I am quite expressive on my feelings( as you can see on this blog) and I know I demonstrate my romantic side often. I have even conceded to a little bit of PDA . I however do not see the need to set aside a day to show how much you love your partner.
Whilst I felt this, I could not voice it out and I doubt many men do because, we are expected to fit in. To avoid domez, we suffer silently and go through the ritual whilst seething deep down.
What is this big fuss about Valentines day?
I don’t get the fuss about it either and would actually be offended if that was the only day when he showed affection.
This is not the only time I show affection- Thank God. But the pretense is still too much on this day
I think it’s kind of sad that you were at dinner and that thought was running through your mind….I’m thinking that this long into the relationship you should be able to tell her that you don’t like buying into the hype of it all….and she should understand more so given the fact that you are romantic (as stated above).
Now if you were not a romantic kinda dude then maybe it would be expected that you deliver…
I have only been with her 8 months and this is our first Valentines together. But i find that for ladies, these sort of things(Valentines, roses, chocolate etc) mean a lot.
iiiiissssshhhhhhhhh sii now you have started the trend- game over. EVERY VALENTINE’S DAY, you will buy the card, the flowers and go out to dinner- you know why- because the year you stop it will be said, ” you only did it then because you just wanted to get me, now you have me and………”.
You should have just said, “I do not get all this” right from the start. Sasa ………ssssssshhhhhhhhhhhhh next year ni helicopter na wewe. ebu start saving up!!!hehehehehehehehehehehe
And I did not get a gift. Maybe it is I who should be complaining. By the way, i don’t see another Valentines day with her.. another post I guess
me, what I do not get, is “why my post is not up as promised”- memory like an elephant, I tell you!
What will I do? I thought you forgot. Each time I see it in drafts, i hope you had forgotten.
the day is an uncomfortable one…I think the best thing is to discuss with your significant other how to best handle the day. Flowing along, with the expected hype does not leave a good taste in the mouth
But i know how much it meant for her to be pampered and receive all those gifts. I think this was my way of compromising and accepting something I feel nothing for to make her happy
I survived this one, like I always survive, by being single. Now I’m ready to get a galfriend for the next 10 months or so.
You are lucky!..In a way
I also thought flowers were cliche (even the company I work for gave each person a rose) but guys in town were carrying some large bunches! Instead I bought lunch for the current prospective and later in the evening delivered a small gift to her office (no time to get her one after lunch coz she had to go to work). We haven’t communicated since, go figure…
“By the way, i don’t see another Valentines day with her.. another post I guess”
eh??….. I dropped the hint didnt I? It is going no where..
I am thinking that it must be a little hard for you to find a chick who is not impressed by the chumes and stuff… Ahem! I have not been able to tell
anyway, let me wait for the post.
let me tell me hook you up with a buddy of mine ama
only thing is she is here in Denmark..
Hmmm…maybe your relas in UG would do better..its closer
A little late on this thread but I’ve been away on a week long retreat with 12 colleagues (all but two are male) as we do every Feb. Most are in their 50s and it’s always interesting to note how Valentines Day is huge for them. Perhaps it’s the guilt of being away from home. Although they don’t prescribe to all the hype, they always make time to connect with their loved ones somehow (over 4 time zones for most). We singles were on ‘business as usual mode’ in an environment awash with red roses and food presented in ‘heart’ shapes in ‘heart’ shaped dishes. Rather condescending if you ask me but commercialism rules the day.
i can see your point S&R, its for her, a selfless [well almost] act to ensure she is not the odd duckling that cant swim on this day.
Ah at last! Someone who sees my point
I think Valentines is really a competition between women to show who got the most glamorous gifts.
Just like most women don’t dress for the guys but for other women.
and just like the size of the jewelry is not really about how much he loves you but about whether your ring is bigger than your friend’s……..
And I can’t say thats a bad thing either.
gentlemen, seriously, does the car you drive and your job title and your (fill in the blank) not fulfill the same function? An attempt to make the other guys feel like mezaring wembe.
I’m not player hatin’. Just being honest!
Dinner and flowers really don’t cost anything near as much as a car does…
So why not just humour us!!
So it is all about fronting and flossing huh? But I understand and THAT is why I went through the entire ritual with a smile
Nice one!!
The bit of this being the last valentines for you both cracked me up!!
Well, I also don’t get the fuss and unfortunately for men, they better deliver on that date or they have stung a bee hive.
Am sure some women wouldn’t be fussy about the day but they have to compare notes with their girlfriends about this day hence putting pressure on making that day what it should be. I remember a pal who ordered for herself flowers and a card just so she doesn’t look the odd one out!!What the hell??
This year my boyfriend made it a point to inform me he isn’t big on it either and it went down well. It was our first together.
What really matters is wether you have shown in more ways than one, that you love this person in the course of the relationship.
A friend of mine called the day ‘Black Thursday’ and I wholly agree not because the day was so dreary, but because that is the one day that satellites hovering in space see us out here in the US clustered together, and that the day has to be so constructed and sold is abhorrent to any meaningful interactions that lovers try to have. I am yet to have a ‘great’ Valentines’ day, but only because I have so many other days that I have been showered with love that one commercial holiday pales in comparison.
Someone commented on it being hard to find someone who is not impressed with the chooms and stuff, and that is the truth. But its not impossible…